Learn · from · yesterday, · live · for · today, · hope · for · tomorrow

Havent been on in a while....

Break was nice on christmas eve i left for FL. Spent a week there... all i did was shop! I USED THE LAUNDRY MAT FOR THE FIRST TIME! that wass fun. My grandma was making fun of me cuz i had NO CLUE how to use a laundry mat. so i called my mommy and asked her and she had never used one either. so ya we are buji and proud.

Anway so i came home on New Years eve. The trip home was horrible. I grabbed like a piece or 2 of baccon and a special K bar b4 we left thinking id have time to eat at the air port. WRONG. we got there 3hours early and spent 2 of those 3 hours in line to get our BOARDING PASSES. then we had to take our check on luggage over to secruity and that was another line. they had to pull us out of that line because our plane was boarding. We had to run throught security to make the plane. not even 5 min afeter we took off i threw up cuz i was STARVING. and it was like stomach acid. Then i ate like 3 bags of pretzels and ginger ale and threw up 10mins b4 we landed. when we finally got to the airport my mommy and blair were there.

We went home and the family came over. we played family fued and drank. blair and i exchanged christmas gifts... he got me a beautiful 3 diamond promise ring and when he gave it to me he said.. i promise to love you forever. i promise to care for you forever. and i promise you are my one and only forever. (3promises one per diamond as he was instructed to do so lol) so it was cute. I got him a designer hoodie and some shirts.

Bear will be 18 in 4 days. My little baby is going to be a man. He got his selective service thing in the mail yesterday... scary lol

So college.
im excited.
still waiting on replies
I hope i get in to both michigan and state.
Yay lol

xo b ox

So Last night i babysat.... it was fun considering my babies just got hme from South Africa and i havent seen them in a while. I got home close to one and i was talking to my friend jayson and i just had this like breakdwn... i still cant decied if it was good or bad. But like ok im a major flirt so iwas flirting with him and in the middle of the conversation i was like i cant do this. and hes like wut and im like me. i can do me anymore. I just wish that all of these boys on my bra strap would go away. I wish boys werent attracted to me (that sounds conceded but they are!) or if they are i wish they werent such dogs about it. Last nite i spent 30min tellin a boy basically to leave me alone but he kept insisting that i was lying to myself and i wanted him around. Anyways i love blair. he is the best thing that has ever ever happened to me. I dnt wanna fuck anything up. I wish it could just be us 2 and my friends of course. These excess ppl. grrr... i sent him this email
basically the email covers how i feel about him . My fears of fucking up. And the begining for those who may be confused... my "big sis" is havin a hotel party and she wants corey and to get a room together. I told blair and he told me he didnt want me to go and how he trusted me but hes been fucked over 3xs in the past by june and he just doesnt want to think about wut im doing at all times... soo ya thats wut that was about. Im sooo damn happy. I love him. I need him. I need to spend my life with him.

Sooo yesterday was sweetest day and frankly it was utterly amazing. This pass month has by far been the best month freaking ever. I can honestly say that the happieness i feel being with blair far surpasses all happiness i have ever felt. wow. im so giddy. ook back to my day!

So yesterday at 8am my beloved bf came over. We went out to breakfast and in the car he surprised me with a giant hersheys bar and this cute card. (for those of you who didnt no that sweetest day is for the men)We greatly enjoyed our breakfast and he let me drive his car back home. I was completly in shock. He loooves his car so much (an 07 Grand Prix)so im thinkin wow they drugged his food. anyways i made him a cd of love songs and i took all the titles of the songs and incorporated them into a paragraph. Heres an exerpt:

All my life, I’ve wanted to be treated like a princess. I’ve always wanted to fall in love and be happy forever. I was one of those little girls who played house and dreamt of love and marriage. Then I met you and all of my dreams came true. I realized that I was Made to Love You and only you. You know how the story goes. I realized I was Crazy in Love with you and when we weren’t together I was Missing You. This is all before we were legitimately “together.” Slowly I slipped from crazy to Dangerously In Love with you....  

So anyways we chilled at my house for a few hours. We ended up putting in the cd i made and he grabed my hand on "all my life" by k-ci and jojo and we started slow dancing in my basement. He was singing it 2 me 2. it was 2 cute. Oh i also baked him cookies! but thats a side thought. So he had to be at work at one. He eneded up leaving my house at 12:55... ooppss, We have a hard time leaving each other. So he calls me 10min later like i left me retainer in your purse. so after laughing at him he said hed come back over after work at 9. 

9 o'clock rolls around and he comes by to get his retainer and ends up driving to regis with me cuz there was a dance there for 7th and 8th graders andi had to pick my sister up. When we got back to my house we sat in the driveway for 30 min just talking and i was like honey what am i to you? and he was like you are my baby and my legs . and im like your legs? and he was like ya you are my inspiration to get up every morning andi wouldnt be able to get through all the shit i go through without you. You help carry me through  everything. God i love that man..

Mark  my words if blair and i dont get married im done dating. seriously. i m not getting hurt again and im so confident in this.l Whats the difference btwn him and corey some may ask.. BMy relationship with blair is more realistic. Were the same age. Both of us are going to college and my whole family loves him. Also blair has been my best friend for the past year and a half. So having that inital bond and closeness has only enriched our relationship and has made it 20xs better. He is my soulmate. We were "Born to be together" in his words.

Oh  and hes like out of the "ordinary" when hit comes to the type of guys i usually date. I like that!

I love him. Im in love with him.

Ok so i cant sleep it is 4:40 in the morning. Ive been up for about an hour and i just i dk. I start school today (at southfield-lathrup) and im nervous as FUCK. Corey and i broke up last night and b4 everyone gets all mad and stuff it was very very peaceful. I love him to death and we just talked about it and he decided it would be both easier for me annd it wouold make me a lil happier if i went with this other boy (if u wanna know who IM me or sumthin cuz im not at liberty to tell on here for fear of gossip.) Corey will always be in my life no matter wut I love him more than anything. Hopefully we will cross paths later in life. I would LOVE to date him again. Ok so you know how ive been going back and forth about my schools. Heres the thing my sperm donor decided not to pay my senior year and for that matter the end of my junior. I HAATE him. 2 the point where i am never speakin to him again. My mommy tried everything in her power to move us so i dnt have to go to southfield publicf schools but it didnt work out. shes super stressed cuz she feels like shes failed me as a mother. I dnt believe that at ALL i love my mommy more than anything. So its been crazy in my house lately. Ive cried everyday since 2 thursdays ago so for the past 2 weeks. every fucking day. ok so i live in the southfield high district but i was literally scared hitless so when we wwent to register. my mom asked the lady if i could go to lathrup and she said because its my senior year she'll let me. Sooo thats exciting i guess. I um i dk ive been thorugh so many emotions in the past couple weeks. ud think aperson would run out of tears or something. Part of me wishes i would just run out. Im tierd of feelin sad or mad or something. But i can handle it.

On a lighter note Saturday is both the powder puff game and the brother rice vs CC game at ford field and the u of d icebreaker.

I cant go to powder puff.. well ill TRY but i have to work.

BR vs CC ill be there.. My umm Male friend (LMFAO) is going to pick me up about 6:30 and we are going to the game together then out to dinner somewhere downtown.. If not dinner then we are gunna drive around belle isle if its open and talk a little. Hes so sweet 2 me.

U of D icebreaker.. soooooo umm i have a stalker.. well my u of d hc date is kinda stalkin me so i opped out of this heheh

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend. ill tell you how my very first day at public school went. Yesterday was my 1st time actually being INSIDE a public school... ahhhhh nervousness hehehehehehhe

Xo B Ox

So last night was the first time all summer ive seen any of my friends and i had to travel to clarkston to do so but it was SOOO worth it!! Alana you looked beautiful out there and u did an A-Maz-Ing job. Muffin Mansfield truly embodied marian high and frankly made me never wanna go back again... good thing its my last year heheh anyways i loved the show as did corey who i was mad at the whole first act for having pics of him and tarresa in his fone. (Ugly hoe) anyways I really enjoyed myself and the ride home in the pouring rain.. THAT WAS A PARTY IN A HALF heheh!!! On my way home corey and i had Rallys and it was soooo good! he ordered my food and he was like czn i have uh a small fry 2 apple pies and a small fruit punch and WHAT DO I WANT??? i was like thanks honey for making me feel like a fat pig.. i guess u had to be there cuz it doesnt loook like much but he said it SO slow and said UH in between every item. So it seemed like i was eatting half the menu before he even started his order!! iigght so i guess im out for now!

Toodles♥

Xo B Ox

Today was fairly boring. I had to be up at 5AM in order to get coffee and be at work at 6.. that was by far the LONGEST SHIFT EVVVVEERRRR!!! i wanted to shoot myself. AND i was working fries so i had to stand over that 300 somthing degree grease and drop fries and nuggets and strips and box them up and all that not-so-fun stuff.. u was hot and pissed off and then i was also the runner so i had to go get chicken or salad dressings or wutever they needed. I HAtED kadrieka today.. i asked her wut time it is she said ALMOST 2 i looked at the clock and the thing said 1:08 . I could have smaked her for that for real... i think i did hehehe im like dnt get my hopes up (cuz i got off at 2) then i came home and thats all she wrote!! I did get my nails done the other day and my feet....

I just got a french on my feet but arent my nails pretty they make me happy! AND they were only 30 thats with a full set gel..french with 4 designs 45 total for the polish change on my feet!!! that made me sooo happy heheh

Mucho love!!

I cant wait to see laney tomarrow <3