Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow

College

2007-01-12T11:14:05Z

I got into college! yay im so excited. I got accepted to howard university. Wow. lol sooo ya im going to howard if i dnt get into michigan! thought id share that.

Happy New Year 2 all

2007-01-05T11:47:01Z

Havent been on in a while....

Break was nice on christmas eve i left for FL. Spent a week there... all i did was shop! I USED THE LAUNDRY MAT FOR THE FIRST TIME! that wass fun. My grandma was making fun of me cuz i had NO CLUE how to use a laundry mat. so i called my mommy and asked her and she had never used one either. so ya we are buji and proud.

Anway so i came home on New Years eve. The trip home was horrible. I grabbed like a piece or 2 of baccon and a special K bar b4 we left thinking id have time to eat at the air port. WRONG. we got there 3hours early and spent 2 of those 3 hours in line to get our BOARDING PASSES. then we had to take our check on luggage over to secruity and that was another line. they had to pull us out of that line because our plane was boarding. We had to run throught security to make the plane. not even 5 min afeter we took off i threw up cuz i was STARVING. and it was like stomach acid. Then i ate like 3 bags of pretzels and ginger ale and threw up 10mins b4 we landed. when we finally got to the airport my mommy and blair were there.

We went home and the family came over. we played family fued and drank. blair and i exchanged christmas gifts... he got me a beautiful 3 diamond promise ring and when he gave it to me he said.. i promise to love you forever. i promise to care for you forever. and i promise you are my one and only forever. (3promises one per diamond as he was instructed to do so lol) so it was cute. I got him a designer hoodie and some shirts.

Bear will be 18 in 4 days. My little baby is going to be a man. He got his selective service thing in the mail yesterday... scary lol

So college.
im excited.
still waiting on replies
I hope i get in to both michigan and state.
Yay lol

xo b ox

wow. im still full.

2006-11-24T10:53:07Z

The Past two days have been amazingly fun and crazy. Blair came over tuesday, i stole him at 9:30am and returned him at 11pm. We had fun wrestling on my bed (innocently) and talking to my mom. Then yesterday thanksgiving.. yummm him and his cousin crystal came over. He got to meet my crazy drunk ass family. The food was amazing! Now i cant sleep and im a little sadden. I dk exactly where its comming from but i no it has something to do with highschool and ppl. I guess i feel like ive lost my friends since i transferred. Granite we are all busy ppl in our senior year but still i just dnt feel the love i used to from them. Not to mention im listening to "where are you christmas?"-faith hill and that ssong always makes me cry! lol YES, i cried in the grinch!

Mucho love i suppose.

Proposal 2

2006-11-08T11:25:55Z

Ima take this time for a political note.

Thank you to all of you (not sayin that its the ppl who read this) for makig my life as well as the lives of both women and minorities a like just that much harder.

So ya now my family may be moving to ohio. Oh joy! Fuck this. Seriously I fucking hate michigan.

So now that my whole world is upside down im going to get ready for school now.

statisticfs show that without affirmative action there will be a 75% drop of the enrollment of minorities in medical school. So ya thank you so fucking much.

English Sonnet

2006-11-03T22:40:56Z

A Sonnet I wrote in english

Forbidden love forever shall we be.
Jealousy is what we have come to know.
Hated on by everyone that we see.
Whispers of how I am a little ho.

Walking down the hallway holding your hand.
Glaring Eyes following our every move.
Whispers of how to hell's flames we are damned.
The pain and anguish they won't try to soothe.

Dispite all of the pain that we endure.
You are my lover, confidant and friend.
I will be there for you forever more.
My love for you will go on with no end.

Loves passionate hand has taken a hold.
Our love is so precious it is like gold.

so um ya..

2006-10-29T13:06:59Z

So Last night i babysat.... it was fun considering my babies just got hme from South Africa and i havent seen them in a while. I got home close to one and i was talking to my friend jayson and i just had this like breakdwn... i still cant decied if it was good or bad. But like ok im a major flirt so iwas flirting with him and in the middle of the conversation i was like i cant do this. and hes like wut and im like me. i can do me anymore. I just wish that all of these boys on my bra strap would go away. I wish boys werent attracted to me (that sounds conceded but they are!) or if they are i wish they werent such dogs about it. Last nite i spent 30min tellin a boy basically to leave me alone but he kept insisting that i was lying to myself and i wanted him around. Anyways i love blair. he is the best thing that has ever ever happened to me. I dnt wanna fuck anything up. I wish it could just be us 2 and my friends of course. These excess ppl. grrr... i sent him this email

respect that. I really do and i completly understand where your comming from but on the same note on some real shit when i read that my first reaction was that i was like sad. Not that u didnt want to go but that you would compare me to her in such a way.. It like disappointed me at first... but i thought about it and i understand. We've both been hurt. A few times to many. Niether one of us deserved it. Thats y we have each other now to support and understand. You are my life blair. You truly are my world. Ok see now im crying... damn im 2 emotional. I am 1,000,000% devoted to you. I truly honestly want to spend my life with you. I have never been so sure of anything in my whole entire life. I know you feel strongly about me but promise me u wont hurt me. Promise me that your ready for commitment like this. cuz the way im feeling now theres no denying it theres no backing up. I am crazy madly in love with you. ok i was ranting but omg i cant stop cryin and thinkin about you and how ive never felt such happiness b4. I dnt wanna fuck it up. You are the best thing thats ever happened to me and I would nevr put myself in such a predicament where you would even think for a moment that i may cheat. Trust me Blair LeAnthony Weekly. I promise you from the bottom of my soul that i will never intentionally hurt u. wow. im tierd. i miss you and i want to see you. emotionally drained. I feel like crap. I just want to be in your arms again. I need 2 c u. I love you so damn much. I think there should be a word beyond love cuz love doesnt even begin to describe how deeply i feel. Its like realizing there is a God who loves me so very much that he put u on this world for me. Just for me. Now how special is that. You are an anagel baby i love you.

basically the email covers how i feel about him . My fears of fucking up. And the begining for those who may be confused... my "big sis" is havin a hotel party and she wants corey and to get a room together. I told blair and he told me he didnt want me to go and how he trusted me but hes been fucked over 3xs in the past by june and he just doesnt want to think about wut im doing at all times... soo ya thats wut that was about. Im sooo damn happy. I love him. I need him. I need to spend my life with him.

Public school

2006-10-22T13:54:38Z

Let me take this time to express that i love love LOVE public school. it made me realize how fake marian really was. I do miss the quality of education i got a t marian and i really miss my friends but we still talk so that doesnt bother me. Ive met so many ppl. Im thinkin about running for prom queen.
So theres this one 1 girl named brittany who i love to death we are like inseprerable at schhol ppl like swear we knew each other b4 i got hthere. Sweetest girl . Shes from new orleans. I love that girl. Ppl call us B²... yaa. So ti thought id update u a lil bit.

I love him . So u can swallow that for you can suck a dick.

Sweetest Day

2006-10-22T13:05:32Z

Sooo yesterday was sweetest day and frankly it was utterly amazing. This pass month has by far been the best month freaking ever. I can honestly say that the happieness i feel being with blair far surpasses all happiness i have ever felt. wow. im so giddy. ook back to my day!

So yesterday at 8am my beloved bf came over. We went out to breakfast and in the car he surprised me with a giant hersheys bar and this cute card. (for those of you who didnt no that sweetest day is for the men)We greatly enjoyed our breakfast and he let me drive his car back home. I was completly in shock. He loooves his car so much (an 07 Grand Prix)so im thinkin wow they drugged his food. anyways i made him a cd of love songs and i took all the titles of the songs and incorporated them into a paragraph. Heres an exerpt:

All my life, I’ve wanted to be treated like a princess. I’ve always wanted to fall in love and be happy forever. I was one of those little girls who played house and dreamt of love and marriage. Then I met you and all of my dreams came true. I realized that I was Made to Love You and only you. You know how the story goes. I realized I was Crazy in Love with you and when we weren’t together I was Missing You. This is all before we were legitimately “together.” Slowly I slipped from crazy to Dangerously In Love with you....

So anyways we chilled at my house for a few hours. We ended up putting in the cd i made and he grabed my hand on "all my life" by k-ci and jojo and we started slow dancing in my basement. He was singing it 2 me 2. it was 2 cute. Oh i also baked him cookies! but thats a side thought. So he had to be at work at one. He eneded up leaving my house at 12:55... ooppss, We have a hard time leaving each other. So he calls me 10min later like i left me retainer in your purse. so after laughing at him he said hed come back over after work at 9.

9 o'clock rolls around and he comes by to get his retainer and ends up driving to regis with me cuz there was a dance there for 7th and 8th graders andi had to pick my sister up. When we got back to my house we sat in the driveway for 30 min just talking and i was like honey what am i to you? and he was like you are my baby and my legs . and im like your legs? and he was like ya you are my inspiration to get up every morning andi wouldnt be able to get through all the shit i go through without you. You help carry me through everything. God i love that man..

Mark my words if blair and i dont get married im done dating. seriously. i m not getting hurt again and im so confident in this.l Whats the difference btwn him and corey some may ask.. BMy relationship with blair is more realistic. Were the same age. Both of us are going to college and my whole family loves him. Also blair has been my best friend for the past year and a half. So having that inital bond and closeness has only enriched our relationship and has made it 20xs better. He is my soulmate. We were "Born to be together" in his words.

Oh and hes like out of the "ordinary" when hit comes to the type of guys i usually date. I like that!

~~I love him.~~ Im in love with him.

Confused

2006-09-15T08:55:53Z

Ok so i cant sleep it is 4:40 in the morning. Ive been up for about an hour and i just i dk. I start school today (at southfield-lathrup) and im nervous as FUCK. Corey and i broke up last night and b4 everyone gets all mad and stuff it was very very peaceful. I love him to death and we just talked about it and he decided it would be both easier for me annd it wouold make me a lil happier if i went with this other boy (if u wanna know who IM me or sumthin cuz im not at liberty to tell on here for fear of gossip.) Corey will always be in my life no matter wut I love him more than anything. Hopefully we will cross paths later in life. I would LOVE to date him again. Ok so you know how ive been going back and forth about my schools. Heres the thing my sperm donor decided not to pay my senior year and for that matter the end of my junior. I HAATE him. 2 the point where i am never speakin to him again. My mommy tried everything in her power to move us so i dnt have to go to southfield publicf schools but it didnt work out. shes super stressed cuz she feels like shes failed me as a mother. I dnt believe that at ALL i love my mommy more than anything. So its been crazy in my house lately. Ive cried everyday since 2 thursdays ago so for the past 2 weeks. every fucking day. ok so i live in the southfield high district but i was literally scared hitless so when we wwent to register. my mom asked the lady if i could go to lathrup and she said because its my senior year she'll let me. Sooo thats exciting i guess. I um i dk ive been thorugh so many emotions in the past couple weeks. ud think aperson would run out of tears or something. Part of me wishes i would just run out. Im tierd of feelin sad or mad or something. But i can handle it.

On a lighter note Saturday is both the powder puff game and the brother rice vs CC game at ford field and the u of d icebreaker.

I cant go to powder puff.. well ill TRY but i have to work.

BR vs CC ill be there.. My umm Male friend (LMFAO) is going to pick me up about 6:30 and we are going to the game together then out to dinner somewhere downtown.. If not dinner then we are gunna drive around belle isle if its open and talk a little. Hes so sweet 2 me.

U of D icebreaker.. soooooo umm i have a stalker.. well my u of d hc date is kinda stalkin me so i opped out of this heheh

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend. ill tell you how my very first day at public school went. Yesterday was my 1st time actually being INSIDE a public school... ahhhhh nervousness hehehehehehhe

Xo B Ox

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-09-12T16:56:00

2006-09-12T20:57:47Z

I hate this i hate it so much. I my dad i hate this.... so im not going to troy im not moving im going to southfield highschool and ive never been more scared of anything in my LIFE. i cant lie. im scared shitless. i hate thissssss

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-09-06T08:44:00

2006-09-06T13:41:07Z

Its my mommys bday! happy bday mommy!!! I loooove you! ive been up since 6 cuz i made her breakfast. Then i took my sis to school. Im not going to school til next wendsday. Last nite tuna, my love, came over and we talked about school. Goverment, a senior required class at marian, is a freshman class

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-09-05T07:29:00

2006-09-05T11:32:58Z

Im upp sooo early and for wut u may ask. To take my sister to school im not even going to school today! SO TO ALL MY MARIAN BUDDIES WHO I LOVVE I HOPE U HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!

set em str8

2006-09-02T00:49:02Z

I would like to take this time to let everyone know that the "rumors" (the tradtional marian way of communication) are true... im not going back to marian for my senior year. I know, craziness. Im actually moving next week to troy and then going to troy high. Sooo ya. Wish me luck ive NEVER been to public school evver and its my senior year. I promise ill visit! Ill be at the football game con mi novio. Marissa is takin me to xmas dance soo ill be around!! u will barely have time 2 miss me.

2 marians class of 007... represent yal have fun im sad i cant graduate with you but enjoy urselves none the less.Love you!!!

Xo B Ox

Ps dnt be a stranger call me!

now that im with you

2006-08-05T11:34:55Z

Heyy looovess,
I leave tomarrow for florida.. ima miss you all very much cuz i will not be having internet access for 3 weeks. For all of you playing football. Good luck hehe.. I FINALLY made a senior picture appointment. Sept. 2nd at 11:30 im excited i just have to watch my tan lines from florida. Ima miss my pumpkinbear♥ I love him. This is gunna be a long hard 3weeks but i might as well live it up right?

"Baby, you know I've got all the flavors that you want
Plus I got all the skills that I need to turn you on
Vanilla, strawberries, chocolate, baby boy, it's on
Now tell me can you picture my body on a cone"

Im going to get a manicure with blair today heheh yes blairs a boy!!

Xo B Ox

Last night you were so into it you told me secrets that u never told a soul.

2006-07-28T13:14:06Z

So last night was the first time all summer ive seen any of my friends and i had to travel to clarkston to do so but it was SOOO worth it!! Alana you looked beautiful out there and u did an A-Maz-Ing job. Muffin Mansfield truly embodied marian high and frankly made me never wanna go back again... good thing its my last year heheh anyways i loved the show as did corey who i was mad at the whole first act for having pics of him and tarresa in his fone. (Ugly hoe) anyways I really enjoyed myself and the ride home in the pouring rain.. THAT WAS A PARTY IN A HALF heheh!!! On my way home corey and i had Rallys and it was soooo good! he ordered my food and he was like czn i have uh a small fry 2 apple pies and a small fruit punch and WHAT DO I WANT??? i was like thanks honey for making me feel like a fat pig.. i guess u had to be there cuz it doesnt loook like much but he said it SO slow and said UH in between every item. So it seemed like i was eatting half the menu before he even started his order!! iigght so i guess im out for now!

Toodles♥

Xo B Ox

If you spend the night i promise i wont try to sleep with you ♥

2006-07-26T23:52:43Z

Today was fairly boring. I had to be up at 5AM in order to get coffee and be at work at 6.. that was by far the LONGEST SHIFT EVVVVEERRRR!!! i wanted to shoot myself. AND i was working fries so i had to stand over that 300 somthing degree grease and drop fries and nuggets and strips and box them up and all that not-so-fun stuff.. u was hot and pissed off and then i was also the runner so i had to go get chicken or salad dressings or wutever they needed. I HAtED kadrieka today.. i asked her wut time it is she said ALMOST 2 i looked at the clock and the thing said 1:08 . I could have smaked her for that for real... i think i did hehehe im like dnt get my hopes up (cuz i got off at 2) then i came home and thats all she wrote!! I did get my nails done the other day and my feet....

I just got a french on my feet but arent my nails pretty they make me happy! AND they were only 30 thats with a full set gel..french with 4 designs 45 total for the polish change on my feet!!! that made me sooo happy heheh

Mucho love!!

I cant wait to see laney tomarrow <3

Guess whos back ((back back back))...back again ((gain gain)).. brittanys back... tell a friend

2006-07-23T05:28:30Z

So wow i havent updated in like forever... my summer has been fairly boring i havent gone out with one single female friend alll summer. All i have done is worked and chilled with corey. At the begining of summer i went to a science camp at u of m which was by far the most amazing expeirence i met some of the sweetest... funniest ppl there!!! I was there for 2 weeks and we were in classes from 8am-8pm EVERY FUCKING DAY. You can help but get close2 ppl when sitting in a lecture hall for 2 hours. Thats the ONLY thing ive been doing... Going to florida on the 6th.. Returning the 19th then off to camp for kids with epilepsy til the 24th. Then i guess its time to finish up my last year in hell i mean marian!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Call me. We can chill.

Mondays Pay Day heheh

Xo B Ox

2 the Seniors

2006-05-16T10:29:55Z

2 my darling seniors:
I love you guys so much and i know its probably hard for some to leave but just know that now is your time to shine. Its time to take all that you learned and all of the love you have recieved and share it with others. I still hate yall for leaving me but its all good i guess i can try to survive with out you! Make sure (for thoose in MRP)you come back and visit me, i would GREATLY appreciate it. I wish you all the best of luck in all you do and if we never speak again know that i love you always and forever! I hope you have a life full of happiness, stregth and love. Now live it up you guys your fucking out of here <3

Ps to my juniors do yall know that we OWN THIS BITCH NOW! hehehe h

Xo B Ox

My ode to Prom 2006

2006-05-06T23:45:15Z

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-04-20T23:00:00

2006-04-21T03:01:02Z

HEEEEY IM SO EXCITED CUUUUUUZ O MADE IT INTO U OF M SUMMER SCIENCE ACADEMY WHERE I GO AND STAY ON CAMPUS FOR 2WEEKS AND LEARN ABOUT PRE MED AND STUFF LIKE THAT I AM SO EXCITED!!!

XO b OX

RIP

2006-04-17T11:42:39Z

RIP Grand daddy D-- November 8, 1936- April 10, 2006

Today is my grandpas funeral... its my first funeral. Keep my family in your prayers!

Xo B Ox

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-04-12T06:11:00

2006-04-12T10:12:18Z

Ok so wow i havent updated in a while the last few days have been long and sad.. besides that im still in love and im still living.

Xo B Ox

Panic attack last nite :-P

2006-03-07T11:57:34Z

Ok so this sounds very dramatic but last nite i had a crazy panic attack and i can honestly tell you i dnt no where it came from. Ok let me start from the begining:
So yesterday i was all happy.. i got out of school, picked up my siter, picked up my paycheck, saw my bf, went to the doctor, found out i had strep throat (AAGAINNN), came home, got ready, went to college night.. it was a pretty normal day. As i was leavin college night m fone rings and it was corey and he was depressed anf frustrated over life and ppl tellin him he wont amount to anything and im listening and slowly im liike embodying his emotions and i had this built up like anger and i dk EXACTLY where it came from the only thing that made any sense to me is that its this connection that we had. Wen hes not happy i see no reason to be happy. So like all night im thinkin about him and i just started crying and hyperventalating and it felt like ppl were tellin me my whole life ill be nothing (mind you i havent talked to him since i left college night) and i am like pacing waiting forr him to all me cuz i couldt go to sleep until i new he was ok. I cojuldtn breathe and i was so upset and i didnt want to be. I didnt want to be angery or sad. I didnt want to soak my pillow in tears last nite. I personally had no reason to in my life. So like everytime i tried to sleep all i could think about is wut is corey doing i wonder if hes ok. Like my anxiety wouldnt settle until hes ok. Eventually i ended up taking benadyrl to go to sleep but i havent heard from him and i need to no if es ok cuz i can feel this build up comming back. Not half as bad as yesterdaqy but it IS still there. Oye i dk wut im going to do... i need him so bad. This is not normal but the only explenation is that he is literally my other half and wut he feels i feel and vice versa its like im the emotional one in the relationship so i am like the embodiment of his feelings.

Btw i am NOT pmsin thank you.

Xo B Ox

sexy_gemini07 @ 2006-03-01T06:40:00

2006-03-01T11:40:55Z

2 all of those who actually know me:

Have i Changed? or is everyone around me changing??

No more drama in my life---psh ya right i wish.

2006-02-24T13:40:48Z

Ok so lately ive bin chillen in the hood con mi novio like after work and stuff so tuesday i went over Parrish's house right after work and my baby was there so i played with cj for a min or 2 and then corey and i cuddled on the couch wen i n walked like 10 people i knew or knew of all of them and one of which happened to be teresas sister (cjs mom) so im feelin slightly awkward but its not to bad and cj comes up to me and says mama and i wanted to react but teresas sister was RIGHT there so i didnt. So apparently in the past anytime corey cuddled with teresa while they were together cj climbed over her and sat inbetween them EVERYTIME and he did the same for gina and corey... ya cj just stood there and smiled and called me mama. I think this is a sign! hehehehe

Then last night... MOST AWKWARD MOMENT EVER so corey and i are at P's house and we are kissin and talkin to P and in walks Teresa. Keep in mind i no wut she looks like but I never met her. SHE WOULDNT LEAVE and shes tryin to be all fake i no good and well she doesnt like me. So shes startin convo and im answerin with short answers cuz i wasnt tryin to be fake. So wen i went to leave we were in the kitchen and he was like i lets go in P's room so i can kiss you like i want to kiss you. So we go in there and the whole time teresa is like PARRISH COREY AND BRITTANY WENT IN YOUR ROOM TO DO IT. THEY'RE IN YOUR ROOM. and im thinkin ok how old are you. Shes fucking 21 like shyt i wouldnt even do that shyt. Anyways while we were sittin there shre admitted her child (well cj cuz the ho has 2) doesnt like her he walks passed her and that made me laugh cuz he calls me mama and ive only seen him like 5 times. So i leave and apparently Teresa was talkin abouty how ugly i am and how we arent gunna stay together and all this shyt and Corey damn near like knocked her out he was so pissed wen i called and im like baby its ok who cares what the hoe thinks honestly wwe know what we want, what we are going to do with our lives, we know we want to spend every moment we can of the rest of our lives together. and she was just going on and on about how like how im a hoe cuz i was talkin to corey while they were going together which i find funny cuz sits like i wasnt talkin to myself and at the time we both had feelings and umm they happened to be stronger than the ones he had for you. Just face it you lost the most amazing man in the world to a 16 yr old and im not as dumb as you so im not gunna lose him. I love him. He is my future.